Hema
It was always my kind of desire to support mums mainly, I guess, in my in the asian community. Communities, I should say, really specifically my own like quadratic community and weirdly through word of mouth and just through supporting family and friends I have been doing that for quite a while.
I had to look after her and was trying to support mums. And then I became ill because I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. It’s a hereditary condition but my first cousin has it and she’s had it since she was 15. But for me it when divani was 11 months old.
Yeah, I had stomach cramps, things weren’t right, and obviously went to the doctors. They were pretty good, actually. I’ve had a bad experience with a GP before where they basically just tell you to stop breastfeeding because well your child is nearly one or whatever but I was very lucky that they actually listened to me and listened to the fact that I wanted to carry on breastfeeding until at least two years and beyond ideally. And they actually persuaded the gastroenterologist at the hospital to do a colonoscopy within a fortnight and, yeah, from there onwards I was like diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and put on medication.
For me, growing up, I just thought I was going to be like this badass career woman and initially I was. I’m from the northwest and originally, even after i got married, I kept my job. I had two children within the space of 20, they’re around 21, months apart. I just felt actually that one of us needed to be there for the children more. It was difficult initially. I wouldn’t go back now and change that decision, if that makes sense, it took me a while to kind of get used to being a full-timer.
I think things were different for my mum’s generation and even though I guess then my grandma’s generation probably did try to influence my mum’s generation. I think by then formula milk was being advertised as being better for babies or that’s the impression that they were given so basically, yeah, say most of my mother’s generation…they didn’t really breastfeed for long if at all but they still did the postpartum period and still had all the special foods. They still had the diet and all of that they just didn’t actually feed their babies at the breast.
So with my son I breastfed him for 13 months I fell pregnant when he was a year old again but, you know, my husband was working away quite a lot so I was back at work and it would have just helped me to to just have him in bed with me and to feed. And he was doing that sometimes but there was always this constant pressure that he shouldn’t be so Ii was trying to keep him in his cart in the other room and going back and forth just absolutely shattered.
In the early stage of pregnancy, having to deal with breastfeeding and it just wasn’t working out. Then I was going through the pregnancy alone and I’d had to wean him because the doctor told me that he didn’t need to have my milk anymore and that he was taking up unnecessary energy. Well, I didn’t know that he can breastfeed while pregnant until the midwife told me. And that we can actually tandem feed as well after, if they want to. And, yeah, basically, then I had my daughter. And I managed to breastfeed her until she was 23 months. We always say to anyone that will listen that it makes such a difference with night feeds, and I was happier for it, although I was still having to go to the other room to deal with the baby.
I went through… a breastfeeding counsellor, I like to have some support, and she basically informed me that I can actually contact Wendy Jones directly through her website and ask her about any medication that i want wanted to ask her about. She actually did give me information and said she runs a private support group via Facebook for breastfeeding mothers who have inflammatory bowel disease and, yeah, asked if i wanted to join so I felt really lucky.
Oh my god, it’s been amazing to have support and to give the support back. I have got peer support training so in some sense I’ve been able to help other mums on that group because we don’t just support each other in relation to the inflammatory bowel disease issues obviously breastfeeding issues come into it as well. For some women pregnancy, it can be a bit disconcerting so I found ways around it. I did use a cover initially and I’m not ashamed of saying to people that if you want to use a cover then use it but you shouldn’t need to. For me, until my daughter was about one, it worked for me to use a breastfeeding cover and then after I just had to use a shawl and try and do it like Indian style as we call it. I’m going to be honest because I’m quite large up top, it probably is still more comfortable now for me to breastfeed at home particularly now that she’s older and she just can’t sit still but I have done it in coffee shops and at people’s houses. I do find that now, especially that she’s older, there are people who don’t appreciate seeing an older baby being breastfed and are constantly asking when I’m when am I going to stop breastfeeding