I was told I couldn’t breastfeed

by Michelle

So I’ve got a 23 year old 17, 15.

And then the two year old. Yeah, I’ve been kind of thinking about it.

And so I’ve been doing this and it just, I’ve never seen anyone breastfeed before. I wasn’t really aware of it, but it just kind of felt natural and normal to do. And, yeah, it went really well with him. And that was my son, my 23 year old.

So he, he took to it really well, he was really greedy and but I had a lot of pressure from my friends to give up. So I gave up more quicker than I’d like to now. We all had babies at the same time kind of thing. It was strange that well, they had just little bit before me. And they all formula fed and didn’t understand breastfeeding. They didn’t really didn’t have a try. So they didn’t get it.

So I kind of felt uncomfortable. A little bit around them, because they all could speak to each other about how their babies were and sleeping where I never had any sleep. But yeah, and they also wanted me to go out. And it’s much more difficult to do things like that. I never, never took a bottle or anything. So it was it was harder to do stuff. So that’s why I kind of gave up when I was younger, and I did want to go out as well.

Eight months I did it felt kind of right to stop but only because I didn’t have any idea on how you were meant to how long you’re meant to feed a baby for. I’d like to have fed him longer.

Now he says to me now when I’m feeding this two year old He’s like, Ah – didn’t didn’t give me two years did you mom? Could have fed me longer!

Because I’m telling him all the time the benefits of why I’m keeping on trying. They’re the same they’ve they live in this society. So they think breastfeeding is weird.

And actually, she’s two now. And I’m like, No, it’s got this benefit. It’s good for her, it’s just comforting. And then he’s like, Yeah, you didn’t do me long enough to do it. He’s only joking though..

Alexi was born with congenital heart disease. And right away was taken off me. I was told I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed. I had to have a section.

So there was that space.

And then they said, she’s going to… you don’t know how poorly she’ll be, and then she’ll need the surgery, you won’t be able to feed after surgery.

And it was just really negative of everyone’s position on it.

And I really grieved what.. that I wouldn’t be able to feed her. And then I was lucky enough, when she was born and in NICU nurse there said to me you want it you want to feed?

Do you want to breastfeed her?

Don’t worry, then she took tube out. The woman she went to the NICU where the nurses had been telling me don’t get her out, don’t try and hold her. Don’t try and feed or you’ll confuse her.

So she took the tube out then she said Michelle is going to feed the baby. She’s going to come back every time you ring her. So just ring her, every time baby needs feeding and every two or three hours . And it was brilliant.

And I just fed her then from then on just from her intervention.

The rest of them were like No, no, don’t try and feed her. She’s got the tube, you just pump and give it to us because I was pumping.

When you want to express be warm, be comfortable. And there was all different things.

And every one of them: that room wasn’t.

It wasn’t warm.

It wasn’t comfortable.

It was dirty.

It was tiny.

But yeah, five weeks I did in that room.

And it was like you say it’s not nice, it isn’t encouraged, I don’t think.

Especially when you’ve got a sick baby and you kind of need it more.

And it’s not encouraged.

I didn’t do any really real groups with my first at all.

Because I never had any problems. It was very easy.

With my second daughter, she was harder to feed.

And I asked for help and I didn’t really get much help.

Once you’ve had one and they’re like, Oh, you’ve breastfed before. Carry on . And I’m not very good at asking for help, either. And I’m thinking feeding this newborn is different to how I fed my son because it gets easier and they know how to position themselves and then I was thinking can’t remember the positions and yeah, I don’t think that when you’ve done it before, I don’t think they help you as much.

You get some bad advice, I think and I never asked much advice from them. Because if I’d have asked advice, they’d probably say give formula. Because that’s mostly the advice people give isn’t it? Anyone like my family and friends?

I never asked for advice, but they give advice thats give some formula and you’re like, No

Yeah, I think it’s support and understanding.

But the midwives are so busy, aren’t they? they that they don’t have the time to come and help you with positioning. I don’t know when then you have nipple problems.

And I just think no one reassures people or says so you know, that everything will be okay.

This is just a bad day a bad minute. It’s just straight to Do you want some formula

then? There you go . It’s just, it’s, it’s the answer to everything your baby’s not sleeping : here’s

formula. You’re, you’re in pain. Here’s some formula.

To change more than anything is that attitude of breastfeeding is is normal.

Because the Dad It’s not that he never had any support.

Most of my friends and family just said, No.

I’m guilty of trying to hide it as well, because I’m quite shy. So I do feed her in public, but I try not

to, which is bad because I’m not showing anyone else that it’s normal. And it’s good.

Because I know that people are embarrassed about it around me.

What the funny thing is, I work in a breast clinic where everyone sees breasts morning

to night And when I had her, the Christmas after I had her I went there for like the Christmas

do, before COVID hit and I needed to feed her and you know what everyone was like, Do

you want to go in this room over there?

And I was like, if anywhere I should be able to feed her and no one bats an eyelid.

It’s there but I couldn’t and no one was comfortable either.

And that was, like, so bad.

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